Through a Glass, Darkly
by pandorabox82
Summary: There comes a time in everyone's life when they're blinded by their love for someone. It's as if they're looking in a mirror, but they cannot see the reflection. What does it take for love to end? And why does Sibyll love Gilderoy so?


Through a Glass, Darkly

Chapter One

by: pandorabox82

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Oh look, it's another angst fic beginning.  Big surprise there.  This is also the beginning of a story that's been bugging me for awhile, ever since I began _Longing for Lethe.  It's finally shaping into a interesting fic, written from a perspective that I don't often use, but felt would be apropos for this story.  So, without further ado, the first chapter._

            "Sibyll, what are you wearing to the Holiday Ball?"

            "I'm not going.  I've Seen that there's going to be an awful outcome of tomorrow night's dance."

            "You can be such a downer, Sibyll.  No one's probably asked you to go."

            'Got it in one,' I bitterly thought.  Here was my best friend, putting very bluntly the secret I'd been trying to keep.  It's not like I wanted to go out with any of my fellow Ravenclaws – none of them understood me.  So here I was, staring at tomorrow night, knowing I'd be alone.

            "If you'll excuse me, I have some studying to do, in the library."  I brushed past Melinda and stepped into the hallway.  Stalking down the short hallway that led to the Ravenclaw Common Room, I began to mutter under my breath about the unfairness of life.  Upon reaching the portrait that guarded our common room, I shoved it open and climbed out.  The portrait was none to happy with me, and let me hear a few choice words.

            Setting off for the library, I failed to pay attention to where I was walking, and ran into someone.  Looking up, I realised that I had almost knocked over Gilderoy Lockhart, the handsomest young man at Hogwarts.  I stepped back, and promptly tripped over the hem of my robes.

            Quick as a flash, he reached out to steady me, pulling me close to him.  My heart skipped a beat as he held me for a moment longer than necessary.  Pulling away from me, he gave one of those brilliant smiles.  "Are you okay, Sibyll?  You seemed a bit upset just now."

            He knew my name!  The most gorgeous person ever to walk Hogwarts' halls knew my name!  I smiled back stupidly before my brain registered his words.  "Oh, yes, I'm fine.  Just trying to figure out what book to read tomorrow night."

            "Why?  Aren't you going to the Ball?"

            "No one's asked me, and I don't want to go alone, so I'll be staying in my room."

            "Well, then I'm glad I ran into you.  I know its short notice, but I don't have a date for tomorrow night, either.  Would you accompany me to the Ball?"

            This had to be some kind of joke.  I mean, Gilderoy Lockhart wanting to take me to the Holiday Ball?  Yet, part of me believed he was being sincere.  "I'd be delighted to go with you to the Ball, Gilderoy."

            "Great!  I'll see you tomorrow night, then!"

            "I'll plan on it!"  I tried not to sound too eager, didn't want him to think I was desperate.  He turned and went down the hall, and I stood there, watching him until he'd disappeared from my sight.  Sighing, I began to walk back to my dorm, when I realised that I had nothing to wear.  So, I switched direction and began to head to the Teacher's Lounge, where I knew Professor McGonagall was sure to be.  She was the best Transfigurer in the wizarding world, I'd heard.

            Reaching the door of the Teacher's Lounge, I hesitantly knocked upon it, suddenly not so sure that this was an entirely sane idea.  As the door opened, I knew that I couldn't turn back.

            Stepping inside, I saw Professor McGonagall sitting in front of the fire, grading essays.  "Professor McGonagall, may I ask you something?"

            "Yes, Miss Trelawney?  What is it?"

            "Well, you know the Holiday Ball tomorrow night?  Well, I couldn't afford dress robes, so I didn't bring any with me.  I wasn't even planning on going, until today.  Gilderoy asked me, and well, I was wondering if you could transfigure a set of my old work robes into a set of dress robes for the evening."

            "Couldn't you do that yourself, Miss Trelawney?"

            "You know how horrid my Transfiguration grade is.  There's no way I could time the spell right, or anything."

            "Fine, Miss Trelawney, just for the Ball.  Bring the robes here tomorrow morning, and we'll see what we can do."

            I was so happy, I could have hugged her, but I didn't.  Instead, I thanked her profusely, and then turned and left the room.  Once I was safely away from the Teacher's Lounge, I broke into a light skip.  I was going to the Ball with the most wonderful guy in school, and the most talented Transfiguration witch was going to do my robes for the evening!  Life could not get any better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~***********~~~~~~~~~~~~~*********~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night, at dinner, I took my customary seat at the end of the table, with no one sitting across from me.  Tonight, I didn't mind the snub.  My mind was miles away, thinking of how wonderful tomorrow night was going to be.

            "Is anyone sitting here?"

            I looked up into a pair of beautiful blue eyes.  "Gilderoy!  No, take a seat."

            "So, what are you wearing tomorrow night?" he asked as he sat across from me.

            "It's a secret.  You'll find out when I come down the main stairs."

            "How am I to get your flower if I don't know what colour you're wearing?"

            "All right, I'll be wearing royal blue."

            "You'll look gorgeous in it, you know."

            I felt my cheeks go red, and ducked my head so he couldn't see my blush.  "Thanks."

            "So, how was your day?"

            "Until you asked me to the Ball, it was pretty normal.  And yours?"

            "Well, I got nominated for some award from 'Witch Weekly', and Professor Flitwick taught our class a small chunk of a new memory charm that he's developing for the Aurors.  It implants a false memory to replace one you don't want in the person's head."

            "But wouldn't the Ministry find that to be like one of the Forbidden Curses?  I mean, used in the wring hands, that could be very dangerous."

            "Well, the charm is so complex that only a few wizards and witches would bother to actually take the time cast it."

            "That's good, I wouldn't want you getting into trouble," I replied, and was rewarded with another of his radiant smiles that made me feel as if I were melting.  Suddenly, a scuffle from the Gryffindor table interrupted our conversation.  I looked up to see two first-years rolling around on the floor, pinching and hitting each other.

            "Excuse me, Sibyll.  I have to go break that up.  I swear, Evans and Potter get into more fights.  I'll see you tomorrow night?"

            "I'll be here with bells on, Gil."

            "Wonderful!  Until tomorrow, then."  He stood up and moved off to help break up the fight.  I watched as he pulled James Potter up off the ground, while another of the prefects held onto Lily Evans.  Giving a soft sigh, I looked around me, only to realise I now commanded a captive audience.

            Melinda took the seat Gilderoy had just left, her eyes snapping with excitement.  "How did you do it, Sibyll?"

            "Do what?" I asked.

            "Snag the cutest guy at Hogwarts, of course!"

            "Oh, we just sort of bumped into each other, and the rest is history.  We're going to the Ball together."

            "But I thought you had a bad feeling about the Ball."

            Funny, now that she mentioned it, I still felt an underlying sense of unease.  However, now it was coupled with a mixture of joy and sorrow.  I pushed the feeling out of my mind and forced myself to focus on Gil and how we'd look tomorrow night dancing in each other's arms.  "Yes, well, the future changes, that's what's wonderful about it," I found myself saying.  "If anyone needs me, I'll be in my room."  With that said, I got up from the table and went upstairs, where I promptly fell asleep, hoping to dream of Gilderoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~***********~~~~~~~~~~~~~*********~~~~~~~~~~~~

            I got up early the next morning, anxious to get my robes made.  I pulled out my nicest set of work robes, and put on another set.  Quickly, I walked to Professor McGonagall's rooms, and tentatively knocked on the door.  After a few moments, the door slowly opened, revealing the Transfiguration professor, clad in a blue and green tartan robe.

            "Do you realise what time it is, Sibyll?"

            "Yes, it's 8.30."

            "That's right, and today is the one day a week that I get to sleep in.  What are you gaping at?"

            "It's just that you look so different with your hair down, Professor.  You should wear it like that more often, you look very pretty."

            "That is precisely why I don't wear it down.  I am the head of Gryffindor, and need to look the part.  Looking pretty wouldn't be very helpful to me right now.  Though I do thank you for the compliment.  Now, come in, we'll have some breakfast before I begin."

            I walked inside, clutching my robes to me.  Her office was humongous, with all sorts of books and knick-knacks and pictures everywhere.  She took a seat in one of the high-backed chairs that sat in front of her fireplace.  I sat in the other chair, and waited for her to say or do something.

            Imagine my surprise when a house-elf walked in carrying a tray with tea, muffins, jam, scones, toast and the like.  He set the tray on a small table that had suddenly appeared when he'd pointed to the previously empty space, and then poured each of us a cuppa.  It was a strong green tea, one of my favourites.  As I buttered a scone, we began to talk about my dress robes.

            "So, have you given any thought as to how you want your robes to look?"

            "Well, I'd like something really elegant.  I already told Gil I was wearing royal blue, so that's the colour I need them to be.  Other than that, I guess it's up to you.  I have no fashion sense whatsoever."

            "Any particular fabric you'd like?"

            "Not really, no.  Maybe silk or velvet, I really don't care so long as it's pretty."

            "All right, I'll try some different styles out and see what you think of them.  Come into my bedroom where there's a full length mirror."

            We moved there, and I quickly changed my robes and then stood on a stool she'd transfigured.  The first set she did was very Victorian in look and I didn't like them – they were too stuffy for me.  Next, Professor McGonagall tried out a very narrow, sheath-type outfit, which I thought made me look like a tree.

            "Well, let's try this style," she said to me, after we'd gone through several more changes.  I could tell she was reaching the end of her patience with me, so I meekly nodded.  "Now, close your eyes - this one I want you to wait for."

            I closed my eyes and waited for her to finish the spell.  "All right, Sibyll, you can open your eyes now."  Looking into the mirror, I gave a short gasp of excitement.  This was the perfect design for me to wear.  The bodice was relatively low-cut, and was boned to give shape and definition.  Short, puffy sleeves capped my shoulders.  The skirt belled out around me and fell to the floor.  The middle of the skirt was split and held up by two silver bows to reveal an underskirt of velvet, with silver stars embroidered on it.  On my feet were dainty silk dancing shoes, and Professor McGonagall handed me a shawl of silk to put around me, should I get cold.  I felt like a princess and couldn't wait for the dance.  That's when I realised that it was only 12.30 in the afternoon, and the dance wasn't until seven this evening.  Changing out of the beautiful outfit, I slipped back into my robes and gave her a brilliant smile.

            "Thank you, Professor McGonagall.  I really appreciate this."

            "You're welcome, Miss Trelawney.  Now run along and get some more sleep.  The Ball promises to run late tonight."

            I turned to leave, when she asked, "Aren't you forgetting something?"

            Turning back, I saw she was holding out my gown, slippers, and shawl.  "Yes, it would be rather difficult to change into my new outfit if it was still in your rooms."  Laughing lightly, I took the bundle from her arms, and then made my way back to my room.  Laying the gown over my trunk, I then proceeded to cover it with the spare blanket that was on the foot of my bed, before climbing back into bed myself.  Soon, I was asleep once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~***********~~~~~~~~~~~~~*********~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shortly before five, I awoke with a start.  I'd had a weird dream about Gilderoy and myself, only we were older, and fighting about something.  Pushing it from my mind, I got out of bed and sat before my mirror.  I pulled my hair back into a French braid, then took it out, not liking how it looked.  Next, I tried putting it up into two braids that I wound around my ears, but that made me look like Heidi, and again  I took it out.  Finally, I decided just to pull my hair back into a sleek, elegant twist, with a few tendrils of hair curling down around my face.

            As I was putting on my make up, Melinda glided in with the rest of the girls from my year.

            "Sibyll, you aren't even dressed yet!"

            "I know, but I'll be ready soon," I replied smoothly, trying to calm the butterflies in my stomach, or to at least get them to fly in formation.  So far, all my efforts were failing.

            "Well, get them out, I want to see them."

            "What?"

            Your dress robes, silly.  I was under the impression you'd left them home this year."

            Giving a soft sigh of resignation, I put down the tube of lipstick I'd been holding and stood up from the mirror.  Slipping into the dancing shoes, I pulled out my wand and erected a screen between me and the others.  I took off my robes that I'd been wearing, and put on the robes McGonagall had transfigured for me.  Taking a few deep breaths, I then lowered the screen.

            "Oh my goddess!  Sibyll, where did you get those robes?  They're absolutely gorgeous!"

            "Oh, I just happen to know a very talented seamstress.  Do you think Gil will like this?"

            "Like it?  He's going to love how you look!  Now, let's get going!  It's already ten to seven."

            Looking at the clock, I realised it had gotten that late.  I picked up my shawl from the bed and wrapped it around myself, and then made for the door.  As I entered the common room, I could feel every eye on me.  Looking around, I saw the boyfriends of the other girls who were in my year, but I couldn't find Gilderoy.  Anxiously, I stepped out the portrait-hole and found him waiting there for me.

            He looked divine in his dress robes.  They were made from a soft silver satin that shimmered lightly when the glow from the candles hit them just right.  It was as if I were the night sky, and he were the moon, softly illuminating me.  On his lapel, he wore a royal blue rose, and even that shimmered in the light.

            "You look beautiful, Sibyll.  I'm afraid this poor flower I picked will do you little justice in comparison to the way you look."  He handed me a silver rose with a royal blue ribbon tied to it.

            "It's lovely, Gil, thank you," I breathed as I pinned the rose to my robes.  He held out his arm to me, and I took it.  Together we walked down the stairs and into the Great Hall.  It had been decorated in the holiday colours, and faeries danced about, sprinkling "snow" over the dancers.

            "May I have this dance, m'lady?" he asked me.

            "Of course.  Who else would I dance with?" I replied as he led me onto the dance floor.  We waltzed to a Bach minuet, and then a piece by Mozart.  At least, I think it was Mozart, I never could remember my composers.  Next came a spirited country dance that left me breathless.

            Gil noticed this, and suggested we take a turn in the gardens.  I agreed, and he led me out into the night.  The gardens were special, they never ceased to be filled with colour, and as we walked, I could feel the enchantment of the place settle over my soul.  We sat on a bench, under a statue dedicated to Oberon, and stared at the night sky.  A shooting star blazed across the horizon, and I quickly made a wish.  Turning to Gil, I asked, "Did you make a wish?"

            "Yes.  Did you?"

            "Of course.  What did you wish for?"

            "The courage to do this."  He leaned over, and placed a light kiss on my lips.  I found myself leaning into his kiss, my breath taken away by the beauty of it.  All too soon, it was over, and we were back to looking at the night sky.  "You know, I've been watching you since our first day here.  I've just never had the courage to do anything about it.  I think I love you, Sibyll."  He gave me a quick look, and I smiled at him, blushing a little.  He looked back up at the stars, and I snuggled close to his side.  Slowly, his arm came up to wrap around my shoulders, and I put my head on his shoulder.  In our own little world, time seemed to have lost all meaning.

            It wasn't until Professor McGonagall came outside into the gardens a few minutes later, that we gave any thoughts to the cold.  She seemed to see us right away, and made a beeline for where we were.  "Gilderoy, Sibyll, it's cold out, you'll catch your death.  Come back inside, the feast is about to begin."

            Reluctantly, we stood and followed her inside.  Upon entering the castle again, I felt almost as if some of the magic of the previous moment had fled.  Looking up at Gilderoy, I was rewarded with one of his beautiful smiles.  I smiled back and we linked hands and walked to our table.  It was decorated in the colours of our Houses, blue and red, and silver and gold.  Upon taking a seat, a menu appeared before us.

            "Chicken Kiev sound good?" Gilderoy asked me.  Absently I nodded, and that's what appeared on our plates moments later.  We were silent throughout our meal, as if each of us didn't know how to interrupt the peace that had descended between us.  'Maybe I won't predict any doom and gloom for the next few days,' I thought, as we finished our desserts.  Soon the band had begun to play once more, and Gil and I danced into the night.  All too soon, the clock struck three, and the ball was over.

            Gil escorted me back to my dorm, and we stood outside the Ravenclaw painting, waiting for one of us to speak.  Finally, I said, "I had a lovely time, Gil.  Thank you for asking me."

            "The pleasure was all mine, my dear one.  Will I see you tomorrow?"

            "At breakfast?"

            "Yes, that sounds wonderful.  Good evening, Sibyll."  He gave me a kiss on the cheek, and then turned to go.

            "Gil!  Wait!"  I took the few steps between us and threw my arms around him, sudden sobs shaking my body.

            "What is it, Sibby?  Why are you crying?"

            If truth be told, I myself did not know why I was crying.  I had felt such a wave of sorrow wash over me when he'd turned to leave that I felt I must call him back.  I didn't answer him, just wrapped him tighter in my arms.  He held me back and let me cry out all my tears.  I knew then that I would always love him, no matter what happened.


End file.
